A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Sometimes The Grass IS Greener On The Other Side

"For the land which you go to possess is not like the land of Egypt from which you have come, whee you sowed your seed and wteed it by foot, as a vegetable garden; but the land which you cross over to possess is a land of hills and valleys, which drinks water from the rain of heaven." Deuteronomy 11:10-11

The Israelites were on their way out of Egypt. They had endured 400 years of slavery at the hands of the Egyptians.  Still, they had managed to eek out a life and survive as a people. I'm sure that their lives had routines, however stark. I imagine that they were somewhat "used" to their lifestyle and it had grown to become "normal." Even though it was not the optimal lifestyle, I think that they had learned to get along and to be as happy as they could in it.

Then Moses and the miracles came along. I can imagine that had I been an Israelite during that time I would have been a bit fearful at all the supernatural events happening in Egypt. I can imagine that fear AND awe would have been present in my heart. I'm sure I might have wondered what I was getting into with this trip to the "promised land."

Eventually the day came when they had packed their bags and were exiting Egypt to an unknown land that would water itself, a stark contrast to the life they had in hot, dry Egypt. The thought of rebuilding their homes and re-establishing their families must have seemed both exciting and challenging to them but generations who had gone before them had often talked and dreamed of this day. I know they didn't know that 40 years lay before them but I have the feeling that they knew there would be hardships, possible battles and a lot of work. If human nature really does run true, I'm guessing the men were ready for the challenges and the women were not. LOL! Still they took a step of faith and stepped out of the borders of Egypt. What a feeling that must have been!

They left the reality of their "normal" and were entering into an huge unknown in order to inherit something different and better.

In the Christian life, we can become settled in our "normal." Our normal may be a bit like what the Israelites experienced in Egypt, full of situations that aren't the best but we've learned to manage them and they are easier to endure than to try to change. We may pray about them but we don't deal with them. We'd like for them to change, we may even need them to change, but the thought of what it might cost to change them far outweighs the price we pay to endure them, so we choose to stay in a spiritual Egypt. We tell ourselves it's not that bad and many others have it a lot worse than we do.

Then God enters, as Moses did, and says you are getting out of normal and moving into something different. As you see it, you're not sure that what's coming is going to be better. It certainly isn't looking easy. You may not have a choice in the matter. You may be like those Israelite women. The decision is made and you just have to get ready for the trip.

Lately I experienced this.  The actions of others caused me to have to let go of my "normal." My normal was not perfect in many ways, in fact there were parts of it that caused me continual heartache but I had decided to be content, to bear my burden, and to make the best of it-it sounded so spiritual. For whatever reason, God decided that I was not going to live in my normal any longer. As I looked at what lay ahead, I have to admit, I was fearful. What if the best parts of my "normal" would no longer be present in what lay ahead? I was sad. I had learned to be content where I was even though in the deepest, most hidden regions of my heart, I knew things should have been different in a lot of ways. I didn't know what to expect but I mourned the good of my normal that I had lost.

Most of us who come through difficult situations with the Lord's help can look back on them and say I'm glad it happened. We don't emerge from the fray the same as when we went in. With God, we come out stronger, having more wisdom, and tougher. I wish I could say this about my most recent departure from my normal, but I can't honestly yet because I don't know quite how it's all going to pan out in the natural. Yet, I have hope and I have the knowledge that, as the saying goes, "if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it." And if He's the one bringing you through it, you can know that you will be better because of it. The grass truly can be greener on the other side.

I have learned a million lessons so far.  Because this was a journey I traveled completely alone, by the Lord's design, I learned the most important lesson that God is all we have and He is all we need. He is enough and much, much more. He is faithful, even when we, in our weaknesses, are not. We all know this as Christians but we don't truly know what it means until we have experienced it ourselves. He has promised that if we will put our trust in Him, He will not disappoint us.

Does that mean that everything will pan out exactly as we think, expect or hope? NO! What it does mean is that His ways are higher (and better) than ours. He is meticulously caring for each of us. He knows what we need and how much we can bear, even when we think we can't bear another thing. For me, it all boiled down to the question of truly trusting Him with literally everything. That might sound weird coming from someone like me who has been made to trust God with some tragic and serious situations through the years. In those situations I was trusting God for someone else, not really for myself. This time, I was trusting God solely for myself.

Sometimes we have to get out of where we are (our normal) to experience something better even if it means that our "normal" will never be normal again. Sometimes the thing causing the exodus from normal is painful, sometimes not but it will always be daunting and challenging. I am finding though that it is totally worth it.  Even though I don't know what my next "normal" may look like, I know the one who is shaping it is faithful, true, and loving. So I wait to see what He's designed for me.