A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Monday, June 22, 2015


To be honest, I really wanted to blog about something else today. I read a really stupid blog this morning-not the way I wanted to start my week. It was a Christian banging on their church. This has happened several times before on this blog and it disturbs me. The first time it happened I just decided to extend some grace. The second time it happened, I prayed for the person because obviously they had some issues that required the Lord's grace. Today it just made me mad. (I do have Irish roots and we are known to be a bit hot blooded you know. That's not an excuse for anger manifesting itself though. With the Lord's help I have learned to control my temper, in fact, I have learned to just let things roll off like water off a freshly waxed car. I've decided that the misplaced anger of others is not worth my attention and certainly not worth my time. That doesn't mean that things don't upset me. They do. I just think them through carefully before voicing any opinions either to the Lord or to others. Usually after being mad, I grow sad. And I'm sure in this case, it made Jesus sad too which makes me even sadder.)

Eph 4:29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

So I am going to explain why this kind of behaviour is damaging and suggest some ways in which blogs can be used for edification. We are not to be devouring each other in a public forum.  In fact, we shouldn't be devouring each other at all. I shouldn't have to be writing this, but it seems that according to the need of the moment, it would be beneficial. I don't even know if that person reads my blog.  I kind of doubt it, but for all of you who do, please consider what I am going to say.

Based on this verse, I will say that it is very poor character when someone feels the need to criticize the church or it's members publically on a blog or on FaceBook when they have not spoken with said members or leadership about what is obviously a burr in their saddle. If someone has something to say to or about a body, it should be said in church at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. Afterall, we are supposed to be family. In our house, and probably in most homes, if someone is upset about something, they just say it. If someone hung the dirty laundry of blood relations out to dry on a public forum, anyone would naturally be furious so I don't understand why some folks have no problem hanging the church's out there for all to see. Does not scripture say that we are more family than even our blood relations? If we are to forsake natural family for the sake of the Kingdom, that includes the people in the Kingdom who have become, by God's great power and design, our family.

Venting on a public blog or facebook just serves to upset church members and cause division. More importantly, it makes church bodies look bad to any sinners that may be reading the blog and brings reproach on the name of Christ. As Christians, we should not be providing opportunities for offense. More importantly, we shouldn't be voicing our own problems with offense on line. If we need to cry in our beer, do it before the Lord but be ready for what He may have to say. If your aim is transparency, be transparent about your own shortcomings, not everyone elses.

I have noticed through the years with blogs such as these that most of the time there is no valid point being made. More often than not, it is because the person has perceived the situation through their own tinted glasses instead of seeing that their world is much too small and that their nose is stuck in their naval. So they vent on a public forum thinking they are being spiritual by using ambiguities and generalizations when what they are really doing is just getting their digs in to satisfy their flesh which hurts the Body of Christ and the cause of Christ. What we ought to do is consider others more important than ourselves and let love cover a multitude of sins. If it is a legitimate hurt, the Bible is very clear on how to handle them and if I recall correctly, it never mentions telling the world and anyone else who will listen.

Surely there is enough crap on line without Christians adding to it. Seriously, why not talk about the greatness of God, the plight of sinners, the healing power of the Holy Spirit, the love of Jesus Christ for the world, the goodness of God in your own life or in the lives of others instead of being a knit picky exposer of perceived faults of those the Lord has placed in your life to be family. And if you don't think they are being family, perhaps examine your own self and see how much "family" you are being to them! Be what you are in word AND deed and if you aren't, stop complaining because they aren't that to you!

The church body is not perfect. The Pastor and his wife are not perfect! We live in an imperfect world and imperfected flesh. Learn to deal with it and go with the flow. At least, learn to rise above what you see as faults in others and pray genuine prayers for God's blessing and santification in their lives. Take the negatives and turn them to positives. Take the spirituality that you have received and be spiritual! Project some grace into the situation by using edifying words that give grace to those who hear it...or read it.

Too many people see themselves as the victim in every situation. I can't tell you how many times I read or hear of people thinking that they are somehow victimized by the church. If your church truly does that, go somewhere else but before doing that sit down with your Pastor and discuss your feelings.  More often than not you will find that you are not really seeing things completely clearly because of your own weaknesses. Honestly, with all the people in this world that are going to hell, Christian bloggers have plenty to write about that could make a difference in the life of a lost person, a downtrodden person, or a person who is hurting and needs healing or encouragement. At the very least, we could project a little goodness into the world and brighten someone's day or give hope to someone who has lost faith. 

We have no time to wallow in immaturity! Let's put our big person pants on and be a positive influence in the world and the church!

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