A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The Night Watchman-Thankful Day 11

Last night was not a good night. I stupidly drank a glass of caffeinated ice tea for dinner and then drank a cup of caffeinated hot tea later in the evening.  When it came time to sleep, I just tossed and turned and tossed and turned. After 6 hours of tossing and turning, my mind started to get pretty squirrely. In my half awake/ half drowsy condition, all kinds of wild stuff made it’s way through my thoughts. I got up thinking that if I was fully awake, it would come back under my control and I could gather those thoughts, toss them out and get to sleep. Now this is not normal for me, and it felt a little weird. I have a feeling that the heart palpitations, the intense hot flashes, and the not normal stuff that’s been going on in my body the last 2 weeks played a part in me ending up in that condition. (Who doesn’t love menopause?)

Still, even knowing that I wasn’t going crazy or have dementia didn’t soften the craziness. My mind immediately went to the Word of God.  “I will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on me.”  I climbed off the couch and stood up to insure that my mind was fully awake and I began to pray.  As I knelt by the couch, the presence of God settled into the living room and I knew that I was not alone in my struggle. In fact, the end of my struggle was there banishing all that was troubling me and all that was keeping me awake. I rose from the couch, returned to my bed, crawled under the soft quilt and drifted off to sleep.

When questioned about why we never shot a charity match hosted by a shooting club about 1 ½ hrs from our house, we told the organizer that we can’t shoot on Sundays. Her response was “well, God could take that day off.”  As I knelt by the couch, I was SO THANKFUL that God “neither sleeps nor slumbers” and He NEVER takes time off!  What if He had been “unavailable” last night?  What if I had been left alone to try to regulate my hormones and change the frantic thinking that they had caused?  I would be no better off than those in the world who we know are basically unsuccessful at it so they resort to drugs, alcohol, divorce, and even worse forms of destructive behavior.

God was for me the faithful night watchman. I am never alone. He is always there waiting for to help in time of need and He is able and willing to help in whatever way we need Him to.

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