Tuesday, January 1, 2013
I probably won't win any fans after writing this because my opinion of this movie is nothing like the opinions of those in the bathroom afterwards who were crying their eyes out because it was just "SO GOOD." Honestly, do these types of people even have a life?
I rarely go to the theater, in fact, the last movies I remember going to see were "Letters to Juliet", "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe", and "The Sponge Bob Movie". I only went to this one because the group of people going are tons of fun and I hadn't been out with "the girls" in a very long time and they assured me that it was a "classic" and a very good story. I knew there would be singing because it was heralded as a "musical". I'm not a big fan of musicals (except for the Sound of Music, Oklahoma, My Fair Lady and the ever popular Mary Poppins), which is weird because I am a very musical person. I had never read the book or seen any of the other movies made about this story. I only knew that my daughter had to read it in school and really liked it and I trust her judgement-after all, I raised her. LOL!
First let me say, this was no musical! (Which was just one of the many lies Hollywood used to get people to the theaters to see it.) It was an opera! And come on people, really, Russell Crowe singing? For 2 LONG hours and 37 minutes?? "This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because....this is the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on....." (Lambchop)
I will give it one thing. The title totally describes the movie! I was so "Miserable" that I wanted to shoot myself in the head! For some of the parts I just sat there with my hands over my eyes and my thumbs in my ears because the gaudy filth was more than I wanted going through my eye-gate! They even had to de-frock Santa Claus for goodness sake! (Just proof that when your job is finished, you should not stop for a drink but just go straight home even if you live at the North Pole.) In fact, the whole movie was just dirty in one way or another. If it wasn't perversion or way too much information, it was mud, dust, disease and sewage. If I want to see that, I can just look in my son's bathroom for free! My poor daughter was so disappointed that she kept on saying "that wasn't in the book or the last movie!"
The love-at-first-sight scene made me laugh hysterically, almost to the point of annoyance to those sitting around me, but after all that darkness, the contrast was just unbelievable! It was either that or stick my finger down my throat and puke! Honestly, were people that naive back then? The only part I enjoyed was when Russell Crowe threw his body off a building and landed on a slab of concrete because I knew that surely the movie would have to end soon with his character being dead!
The actual story line was very good. I can see why it has become so popular but as a Christian who is careful about what I watch, well, I just felt like I needed a bath (or at least some ice cream) after watching it which reminded me why I rarely go to the theater. I have learned that when Hollywood applauds something, it's probably immoral and perverted and once again, Hollywood did not disappoint! The "artistic license" they took with the original text (according to my daughter because like I said, I never read the book), was very broad! And the singing, "oh the noise, oh the noise, oh the noise, noise, noise, noise! " (Thank you Dr. Seuss!)
If you really want to read a good story of redemption, read the Bible! It is the greatest story ever written. It has all the action, romance, and adventure that one could ever want, but without the mind polluting pictures, confusing burlesque style music and rank, perverted language. Well, it's not like a movie, you say? It is if you allow the Holy Spirit to "bring it to life" in your heart! :-)
If you are a Christian and take seriously what you allow to enter your mind, I highly recommend that you stay home from this one! Especially if you are a single lady who is keeping yourself pure. Especially if you are any kind of a lady at all!
This will probably be the one and only movie review I ever do because it will be a cold day in a hot place before I go to the theater sight unseen again!