The following blog really ministered to me today. It's the first day of school in our district and at our house. Some of my children go to public school, one is home schooled.
It's not easy to send my two, hormone overloaded sons to public school, but for now, it's necessary.
It's not easy for me to home school a special needs child.
It's not easy doing Brain Integration Therapies with her everyday. It's tedious for us both.
It was especially hard for me to drop her off at the public school for an 8th period class and leave her there to fight her way through a sea of students and trust that she would actually find her bus and get on it before it left for home. She hasn't ridden a school bus in 2 years. She was scared. I was petrified. The mother part of me just wanted to sit in the 90 degree weather for one class period and take her home myself, but the rehab therapist part of me knew that ultimately, that wouldn't be the best thing for her.
Preparing four souls to enter eternity is a weighty responsibility. And when all my prayers and all the duties I perform according to God's Word seem to be having no effect, there can be an "oppressive anxiety" that comes until I lift my eyes to where my help comes from and I am reminded that...
God sees the end from the beginning. And He sees the middle, where I find myself on a daily basis. And even though the things He asks me to do may seem of no value or effect, His path is the perfect path.
Just all too often, that path has to be traveled in blind faith.
The following blog excerpt quickly reminded me that I must do the things I do, both easy and hard, with faith and trust in my heart because I often do not see an immediate return. There are many things in life I'm just doing by faith trusting that in the end, they will have been beneficial. I am a firm believer that even the things we do by faith that are mistakes can be overruled and changed by God and that realization truly is the "shortest way to peace" but frankly, some days I forget that and the joy in my work is fleeting.
Then I remember:
"It is faith that enlivens our work with perpetual cheerfulness. It commits every part of it to God, in the hope, that even mistakes shall be overruled for his glory; and thus relieves us from an oppressive anxiety, often attendant upon a deep sense of our responsibility. The shortest way to peace will be found in casting ourselves upon God for daily pardon of deficiencies and supplies of grace, without looking too eagerly for present fruit.""
Here is the whole blog entry. I think I'll read it every day for awhile.
Today I was just going about my work: buying Gatorade (the red kind) and mixing jello (the green kind) for my sick husband; trying to get Tori to eat her peas and carrots (and then cleaning up the peas and carrots she threw on the floor); training Jack to obey “right away, all the way, and with a happy heart” (and “quietly” when we’re in the library, please!) and write this post.
Then Mom sent me this quote by Charles Bridges:
"It is most important habitually to contemplate our work in its proper character as a “work of faith.” As such, it can only be sustained by the active and persevering exercise of this principle. This is what makes it a means of grace to our own souls, as well as a grand medium of exalting our Divine Master.
It is faith that enlivens our work with perpetual cheerfulness. It commits every part of it to God, in the hope, that even mistakes shall be overruled for his glory; and thus relieves us from an oppressive anxiety, often attendant upon a deep sense of our responsibility. The shortest way to peace will be found in casting ourselves upon God for daily pardon of deficiencies and supplies of grace, without looking too eagerly for present fruit."
Faith transforms my work. I can find forgiveness for my impatience with the kids, I can have hope that my training efforts will not be in vain, I can wait patiently for the evidence that what I am doing for my family is doing some good after all, and I can be “enlivened with perpetual cheerfulness.”
Most of all, faith makes the laundry, the dishes, the editing, the diaper changing, the praying, and the care-giving a means of grace to my soul and a means of exalting my Savior.
It isn’t just work anymore. It’s a “work of faith.”
--from the archives