Rarely do I hear women commending and complimenting their husbands. Chat rooms are full of complaining and judging and criticizing, but few are expounding on what is right about their husbands. (If these men are really that bad, then the women who married them must have been pretty stupid! I don't think they think about that part much. I myself don't claim to be smart--either I got lucky or someone prayed really, really, really hard for me!) So I decided that as time allows, I am going to send my hubby a valentine each month on the 14th to try to counter balance all the hate out there and to let women know that "Yes, Virginia, good, Godly men do exist!" And yes, it will be quite easy for me to write something positive every month, for the rest of the year, for the rest of my marriage, for all eternity! I got me a keeper!
Whoever said that "love is blind" was very wise!
I am thinking weddings! My oldest daughter is getting married in October. The other day I pulled out my wedding album and looked at the photos of my own wedding 28 years ago. Man, I was much, much thinner than I am now! My skin was smooth and soft. My hair was dark brown and highlighted from the sun. My hubby was tan and cut! And he had hair all the way to front of his head! (Nowadays I tell him that he's increasing in wisdom and knowledge which is why his forehead is getting larger to accommodate his expanding brain! He has been deeply studying Proverbs, after all. I don't think he buys it!)
My favorite photo is one of us walking back up the isle after being pronounced husband and wife. Our hands are clasped together. Hubby has a "shy Di" look, glancing out from under an embarrassed expression at those he is passing as we walk. I am grinning from ear to ear because I managed to catch him after all those years that he chased me! We were so in love back then! I would have sworn on that day that I could never love anyone more than I loved him on that spring day in May of 1982.
What first attracted me to him? He was CUTE!
"Some enchanted evening....., you will see a stranger.....you will see a stranger..across a crowded room...and somehow you know, you know even then..." (For the younger crowd, this is a song from "South Pacific".)
There I was on a dance floor, standing with my best friend and across the way I saw a tall, tan, clean cut guy with the deepest dark brown eyes I had ever seen and I thought to myself--Wow! Hey, don't judge--I wasn't saved and neither was he! I had not had any boyfriends in high school, so I didn't think that someone of his stature would even notice me, so I took one more drink in of those brown eyes and blond hair and promptly forgot about it.
As fate would have it, we somehow ended up standing right in front of him and his friends. Anyway, a drunk person fell into my friend, who proceeded to fall into his friend and so we met. From that day forward, we were pretty much inseparable. After 9 months of dating, I went 3 hours away to finish college, but that only served to strengthen our love. I still have every single letter and card he ever gave me, and he wrote me everyday! I wish I still had all the money we spent on long distance phone calls and Greyhound bus fares. It was bazillions of dollars--all just to sit and listen to each other breathe while counting the days until we could see each other again. Oh those were the days!
As I looked at those photos, I realized that we don't look anything like we did back then. Those stout, cut shoulders and chest of his have migrated south. Pretty soon the ratio of hair on his head compared to his facial hair will be 50/50. We won't discuss my head to face hair ratio! I'd have to double the material on my wedding dress to get into it now. My face is full of laugh lines (his fault-he makes me laugh everyday). On the outside, we are just a shadow of what we were back then, but the love I felt for Him that day is NOTHING compared to the love I feel for him now. Perhaps today, a young woman wouldn't look across a crowded room and pick him out as anything extraordinary (she'd better not anyway--just sayin), but to me he is just as handsome and desirable, even more so, than he was the first night I laid eyes on him.
I guess, for me, love, in a weird way, is blind! But on the other hand, I see very well, and that is why I love.
Some of that goodness that first attracted me to him has moved to the inside. Now when I look at him, I see his heart, I see his character, I see and experience how much he loves me, how much he makes me laugh, how much he has sacrificed to provide for me and the children, how hard he works and never complains or begrudges me any good thing, even if he can't be included in it and my heart nearly explodes with love! I don't even notice that he isn't the same looking on the outside as he was when I was first attracted to him. To me, he looks the same. In fact, when he puts on a suit to preach on Sunday morning and looks all handsome, it's very often difficult for me to concentrate on the sermon the way I want to! (confessions of a Pastor's wife).
I still always want to hold his hand, to slide over to the middle seat when we're driving somewhere together, to have some part of me touching him while we sleep. (He doesn't mind unless it's my cold feet!) No matter what I'm doing, I'll drop everything to ride along with him to an appointment, to take a mower to the shop, pick up a load of fertilizer, or go to the shooting range--okay, I admit, I enjoy the shooting range as much as he does. He's the first thing I reach for in the morning and the last thing I touch at night. My whole day is spent thinking how I can do something to please him, even if it's something so simple as putting the watermelon in the fridge to chill because he LOVES it cold! He is like good scotch--he just gets better with age! (Really, I wouldn't know, I've never had any scotch, but I've heard this said!). LOL! ( And for those that are wondering, that bottle I drink out of during Sunday morning service that looks like a vodka bottle, and whom I call "Fred", really is just a water bottle. I just bought it to get a rise out of you! It worked, didn't it? LOL!)
With all the pressures that we face in our culture today to conform to some established idea of beauty and acceptance, the fact remains that love is truly blind! Or maybe I should say, "true love" is truly blind.
Have you ever been somewhere and seen a couple and thought to yourself, "what in the world does HE see in HER, or visa versa? Or maybe you know a single that makes you wonder, "how will they EVER find a mate?" But somehow they do find a mate, and that seemingly mismatched couple turn out to be extremely happy through life. I'm convinced that opposites do attract. My hubby and I used to be opposites in almost every way, which is maybe why we were so attracted to each other at first. But now, we know exactly what the other is thinking, we finish each other's sentences, and we even know what the other is hungry for without asking. We laugh at the same things, cry over the same things, and we fit together so perfectly we're like two spoons nestled together in the silverware drawer.
My friends accuse me of thinking that he's perfect. That's not true. After all, I do live with the man. But for me, the few little things that I might change about him are so small and insignificant when matched against all that is right, and good and true about him, I really have to think very hard to remember what those few little things even are.
He is a simple man, a humble man, a spiritual man, a consistent man, a REAL man, biblically speaking. That is hard to resist, not that I would want to. In terms of worldly success, some would not think that he has accomplished all that he could, or perhaps all that he should. I just hope that God lets me in the room when his eternal rewards are divied out, and that I can see all the faces of those who have tried to discredit or demean him. Payday is coming, and his is going to be BIG! And I will rejoice!