A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


Of all the prayers I've prayed through the years, the ones that are the most memorable are those prayers when I just simply said, "Lord have mercy" and meant it with all my being.

I first learned this method of prayer by accident, or rather, through desperation. Our whole family was sick, very sick. As our friends and family prayed and did "spiritual warfare" over us, we continued to get more sick. Finally, everyone but me turned a corner. I just continued to grow worse.

It was a trying time. I was pregnant and could take not medicine. I was already in a very intense spiritual battle because I had allowed fear concerning a certain situation into my heart. I was plagued by acute insomnia and anxiety attacks.

Now, with both ears plugged, a burst ear drum, and a clogged head, claustrophobia was added to the list. It grew so bad that I was up all night long trying to sleep. I could not sit in a traffic jam without getting out of my car and standing beside it until the cars started to move again. I would awake my husband at night feeling like I was on fire and in the next instant would be freezing cold. It was bad. Many times at dinner, just being at the table with my family, hearing the clanging dishes and the chatter rumbling through my stuffy head, was enough to drive me outside into the cold night air.

One night, after numerous prayers had been prayed, I ended up outside, leaning against our fence and looking up into the night sky. It was a crisp night and there were many stars shining brightly overhead, as if they were eyes winking at me from heaven. I looked up and with all that I had in me said "Lord, please, just have mercy on me." It was at that precise moment that I started to feel better and continued in a steady uphill climb to wellness and deliverance. The sickness left, the anxiety left, the claustrophobia left, and my ear healed. I never forgot it.

Lately I've been having some trying times with one of my children. It has been exasperating, frustrating and heart wrenching. I am at my wit's end. The other day it all just seemed so overwhelming and I just ran to my room, feel on my knees beside my bed, and once again prayed "Lord, please, just have mercy". And from that very moment, the burden lifted and the circumstances started to change.

Now, I'm not too stupid to realize that something about this simple prayer, prayed with a desperate heart yielded great results!

I looked up "mercy" in Vines and found some very interesting things.

1) Mercy is an outward manifestation of pity
2) Mercy assumes need on the part of the one who receives it
3) Mercy assumes resources adequate to meet the need on the part of him who shows it.
4)Whenever mercy and peace are used together, mercy always comes first except once. Mercy is the act of God, peace is the resulting experience in the heart of a man.

I also found that God is merciful. In fact, His mercies are new every morning. I realized that the Lord desires to be merciful to us and will, as far as His justice will allow, choose mercy over wrath in every situation.

As I am in another spiritual battle, I am once again crying out to God for mercy. His Word and experience have taught me that I can believe and receive mercy and peace. It is humbling to know that you are in a position of needing mercy. Mercy implies that you have done something to deserve the situation you find yourself in and that you have no outlets of escape. Isn't that so true of the human condition? We ALL need the mercy of God, every minute of every day. One thing I am asking God to do this year is to keep me in a place where I will be in consistent awareness of my constant, desperate need of Him. Some may call that a stupid prayer and think that instead of that should ask to become a mighty woman of faith and power! But I have determined that all power, all faith, and all might lies within the mercy of God and so I must dive into that river of mercy and let it carry me where God wills. It is then that I will find the grace of God, the peace of God and the joy of the Holy Spirit. It is that grace that will produce through me power and might and it is God that will get all the glory! What a wonderful Lord we serve!

"The Lord is merciful to those who fear Him" Lk. 1:50

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