A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Things That Scare Me!

~~A 9ish looking boy with a bow and arrow who sets up his target so that it is between him and the property I am mowing! This calls for urgent, interventionary types of prayers like, "Lord, please make sure that my breastplate of righteousness has no chinks, crackes or holes. Please don't let me have to use my helmet of salvation today. Let me leave this property with the same number of body cavities as when I came."
Of course, you're too scared to actually watch for the arrows because one might just hit you in the eye and blind you for the rest of your life! And it's hard to mow with your back to the target because you're always just waiting for that sharp pain in the back to come! The back rest is not high enough to cover my whole back and even if I did scooch down, my head would still be sticking up over the top! And even though I tried to turn my ear protectors to cover whatever part of my head was vulnerable, I soon discovered that it's hard to breath with ear protectors over your nose. Very stressful!

~~The apparent non-existence of appropriate supervision of the 9ish looking boy with the bow and arrow! Because if you do end up getting shot and actually live through it, who are you going to sue for millions and millions so that you don't have to mow grass anymore next to properties that have a 9ish looking boy with a bow and arrow!

~~An international student behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. This is case for instantaneous "help" type prayers to be shot to heaven as quickly as possible! There is almost nothing scarier than to look over and realize that you are beside an International that has little or no driving experience, that probably needed a translator to pass their test and can't read signs in English very well, like ones that say "merge", or "caution", or "men working". Of course, that would totally confuse them if they could read and comprehend English because when was the last time you passed a "men working" sign and actually saw someone working? Not in Pennsylvania, I'll bet! Yep, there's nothing scarier except.......

~~an international student behind the wheel of a moving vehicle who is talking on a cell phone. (I have nothing against Internationals personally, just their lack of driving experience. I'm sure I would be every Europeans nightmare if I had to remember to drive on the left side of the road instead of the right. Lately I can't even remember where I'm going half the time and end up over shooting my destination and have to turn around.) Anyway back to the cell phone wielding Internationals. If you read the accident reports in the local paper there is never an accident reported that does not have a name like Woo Flung Dung or Raji Dhamemehivnkdfnlktian.

~~my 15 year old daughter talking about getting her driver's license. I will only agree if the permit comes with a Sherman tank and head gear!

~~driving while all alone in a car that is making strange noises and wondering if you will live to see another day or if this is it and hoping that your life insurance policy will buy a casket AND a new car so that your kids can attend your funeral.

~~the thought of going to hell. Some people don't believe in hell, but that doesn't change the fact that it exists. I've never seen the grand canyon, but I know it exists. So I guess it's better to live believing there is one and taking the precautionary measures than to live like there isn't one and finding out too late that you were wrong. "Better safe than sorry", "ere on the side of caution", etc., etc. It's better for your health!

~~the thought of my unsaved loved ones going to hell. As I said before, there is no greater sorrow than thinking about never seeing your loved ones again and believing that they are in a place of torment with no reprive in sight, ever, for all eternity. At least when a Christian dies, you can live with the expectation that at some point you will see them again. And even if it would turn out that you won't, that there is no heaven or hell, or they didn't make it after all, it won't matter anyway, but if there is a heaven and hell, as I fully believe there is, then your loved ones not going to heaven is very scary. Kind of puts life into perspective and gives you purpose as a Christian. It also redefines the term "true love".

~~Barak Obama as president and the Dem's in charge of Congress. The end of life as we know it! I have yet to understand why people can't see that the current Democratic economic strategy makes no fiscal sense what so ever if they live in a capitalistic society. Of course, they are wanting a Socialistic society, which also makes no sense because it has not worked effectively in any other country that has adopted it. WHY DO THEY THINK EVERYONE WANTS TO COME HERE??? If health care is de-privatized, Nancy Pelosi's botox treatments are going to leave her looking worse than they do currently and that is just plain scary!!!

~~John McCain as president and Dem's in charge of Congress. Another 4 years of lame duck politics and things remaining the same! Either way, our goose is cooked! When is there going to arise men and women who care more about America than some stupid party platform? If it's right, it's right, so just do it! Humble yourselves, don't need to be right, and just do what's best for the ones paying your salary!

~~Oh shoot--Washington politicians of any kind just plain scare me! They are as bad as international students driving a vehicle while on a cell phone.

~~thinking that I might be deceived in a matter that is really important and imperative to my life like not knowing the truth about heaven and hell. That is why I am so thankful that I know the one who knows everything and is more than willing to tell me the truth. (No, I'm not talking about my husband, although he does know a lot of things and has no problem saying what he thinks.) I'm doubly blessed! The Holy Spirit and my hubby--life just keeps on giving! I wonder what he would say to Nancy Pelosi?

~~my sons falling in love. "Girls nowadays are just plain weird", according to one of them. As I look on today's generation of girls, it's rather scary. Their views on womanhood and femininity are very skewed and look nothing like what has been considered the norm of womanhood and femininity since the dawn of time. "Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!" They say women are evolving, but evolution from chaos to order has never been proven as fact, in fact, every other area of science proves the opposite! The world is in a state of decline! Even the devil couldn't keep things in order when given the chance and he's an angelic being! Add to that idea that God's Word agrees --in the end times, things will grow worse and worse--and yep, it is just plain scary! I was one of the fortunate ones born long enough ago to remember what life was like before feminism. I have watched this supposed epiphany and emergence from the oppression cocoon of male dominated society and frankly, in many ways, we were better off in the cocoon! I mean, we are women--the only ones capable of reproducing the human race, but the liberal feminists deny that fact, find no significance that hey, we may have a very important purpose in this world, in fact the most important purpose. Instead, they see the man's position as the ultimate goal. They want to be men, so why do they call themselves "feminists", when they hate and abhor anything that is feminine? See how messed up they are??? As liberating as burning your bra on the steps of the capital may be, that's not what I call "livin' the dream!" Instead, they should have chosen to burn pantyhose--now THAT would be truly liberating!

~~the thought of my husband dying before me. Don't ponder this one much cause it's just to scary! I would be so lonely!

~~the thought of dying before my husband. Who would wash his underwear? The last time I wasn't around to wash his underwear, he ended up with a big, big pair of panties in his laundry basket and we don't know where they came from! I mean we both could have fit in them at the same time! Someone, somewhere is walking around one pair short! I hope they have a pair of silk, Spongebob boxers to use in a pinch!

So there you have it! It's a scary world out there!

1 comment:

  1. LOL! This is too funny, and scary, too! I have an almost 8-yr old boy and I can see what you mean about the bow and arrow thing. This is why he DOES NOT have a bow and arrow right now. And some of those others, too... you hit the nail on the head.