A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Laughing Down Memory Lane

I love my sister! She is 5 years older than me. She has a great sense of humor. And since we're grown now, she has stopped spraying me with scalding hot water when we do dishes. (My Dad got an automatic dishwasher so we don't do dishes anymore!). She didn't once run away from me on her bicycle the whole 3 days we've been together, hence, I was not in the emergency room with my Dad getting my knees sewn back together because I was chasing after her. We figured Dad getting his heart started again was probably enough for the emergency room to handle for one day.

She still thinks my nickname should be "the agitator", but she loves me anyway!

She is a little weird. She drinks coffee through a straw. My son asked his Dad why Aunt Banana drinks coffee through a straw. He answered "she's from the west coast, and people from the west coast are weird." Doesn't the name "Aunt Banana" prove this out? So my son's young impressionable mind has been completely corrupted against moving to CA, OR or WA. Which is fine with me because I want to see my grandchildren more than once a year!

It's been an interesting 3 days.

We spent some of it in the hospital listening to a raving lunatic in the next bed who had the dirtiest mouth I have ever heard, well, not THE dirtiest, but it was close! I almost had to hold my sister back from rushing to the aid of a nurse when the guy grabbed a hold of her and wouldn't let go amidst the yells of "you're killing me!", "I'm calling the police", "oh, oh, why are you doing this to me?'", and many other things that I cannot write in this blog!

So we, the family, had to soundly convince the hospital staff to get my Dad moved into a room where he could actually recover from the shock of being in the hospital and get rested up from having his heart jumpstarted--twice! The second roomie wasn't a whole lot better in terms of letting my Dad get some sleep, but at least he was only coughing, snoring and spitting, talking on the phone (no cuss words), and watching t.v. until 4am! I think they need a curfew at the hospital and not just for the visitors!

While my poor Dad was recovering from getting a pacemaker to regulate his heart and a defibrillator to start his heart if it ever decides to race again, my sister and I took his wallet. You can't leave it in the hospital room, after all--someone might steal his money! We made sure that it was in good working order. (The red lobster agrees that it works just fine!) Then we made up some wild story about going to the outlet mall (after the dinner that he so graciously provided, in abstentia), and maxing out two of his credit cards and convincing the retail clerk that the reason my card said J. W------- was because they couldn't fit Josephine onto the credit card signature space! We were sure that this would thoroughly test his new pacemaker AND the defibrillator, which we felt, as his daughters, was important before they let him out of the hospital!

Then we sat around reminiscing about old times- like the night we arrived home after dark, following a rain storm. As we came around the back of the car, we noticed the biggest earth worm we had ever seen!!! So we both bent down to examine it closely. As we knelt down and got our faces real close, the worm stood up on end!!!! It was a baby snake!

My Dad about fell off the porch swing laughing as he described the two of us plastered together between the screen door and the kitchen door, screaming our fool heads off because the kitchen door was locked and neither one of us was going to step back onto the carport to make room for the other to find the house key! It was the closest we sisters had ever been!

Upon arriving home from the hospital the sis chased butterflies all over the neighborhood. (Another proof west coasters are strange). She has some fascination with them lately. (I think it's because her cat died or menopause or something.) I was thinking that maybe her and the crazy man roomate might need to check into the same hospital. What 53 year old woman that you know runs around the neighborhood chasing butterflies?

We totally tested my Dad's new heart when we ran off with his new girlfriend leaving him to lay in his hospital gown and fret over what we going to say to her! We were just welcoming her to the family! She's a sweetie! She now knows all his dirty little secrets--his worst nightmare!

He retaliated by drinking soda all day and getting himself dehydrated to the point that his heart rate dropped to 38 with a pacemaker! Luckily, we figured it out before we bagged him up and hauled his carcass back to the hospital.

We ended up in a fast food restaurant once for lunch--because I will not eat at one more hospital cafeteria EVER AGAIN for the rest of my life! We have decided that fast food clerks are taken from the ranks of brain dead people who are still up walking around. I'm pretty sure that the one that waited on me has a relative that works in my hometown McDonald's. They have the same hair style, the same blank stare and ice tea was involved.

I think we all must have a little west coast in us because we had a blast at the hospital, either laughing with my Dad or at him! It's a shame that he has to almost die in order for my sister and I to get to spend some time together. We never got along as kids, but now we get along famously--kind of like Thelma and Louise. Yep! I love my sister!

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like a lovely time with your sister! Glad to hear you daddy is recovering too. Blessed be the Lord!