A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Yep, that's how the Bible describes us. A blip on the screen, a vapor in the wind, a flower that blooms and just as quickly dies away, never to return.

Ps. 49:5
Why should I fear in days of adversity,
When the iniquity of my foes surrounds me
Even those who trust in their wealth, and boast in the abundance of their riches?
No man can by any means redeem his brother,
or give to God a ransom for him--for the redemption of his soul is costly, and he should cease trying forever-That he should live on eternally; That he should not undergo decay.

It goes on to say that:
-even wise men die
-the stupid and the senseless alike perish and leave their wealth to others
-they think that lands and houses are forever but "Man in His pomp will not endure; He is like the beasts that perish. This is the way of those who are foolish."

David prayed and said "make me to know my end, and what is the intent of my days, let me know how transient I am."

I have been thinking alot lately about life, how fleeting it is, how we cannot stop or slow time (even if I buy anti aging creams), that our days are numbered on earth. Life can stop as quickly as it started, at any moment. Having a few near misses myself, losing friends that were still young, and watching the news stories about all the ways people die everyday causes me to ponder the brevity of life.

OH MY GOODNESS! I'm 48 and pondering the meaning of life! I guess it's about time I get around to it!!!! The Puritan writer stated it so well when he said:
"There is one thing that deserves my greatest care, that calls forth my ardent desires,
That is, that I may answer the great end for which I am made--
to glorify thee who has given me being,
and to do all the good I can for my fellow men;
Verily, life is not worth having
if it be not improved for this noble purpose
Yet, Lord, how little is this the thought of mankind!
Most men seem to live for themselves,
without much of any regard for thy glory,
or for the good of others;
They earnestly desire and eagerly pursue
the riches, honours, pleaseures of this life,
as if they supposed that wealth, greatness, merriment,
could make their immortal souls happy;
But alas, what false delusive dreams are these!
And how miserable ere long will those be that sleep in them,
for all our happiness consists in loving thee, and being holy as thou art

O may I never fall into the tempers and vanities, the sensuality and folly of present world!
It is a place of inexpressible sorrow, a vast empty nothingness;
Time is a moment, a vapour,
and all its enjoyments are empty bubbles,
fleeting blasts of wind,
from which nothing satisfactory can be derived;
Give me grace always to keep in covenant with thee, and to reject as delusion a great name here or hereafter, together with all sinful pleasures or profits.
Help me to know continually that there can be no true happiness,
no fulfilling of thy purpose for me,
apart from a life lived in and for the Son of thy love.

I have often thought of my reward in heaven. All the unseen acts of goodness will be brought to light, all the false accusations will be exposed, every wrong will be made right, and I have gained comfort from that. But the more I thought this way the more the Lord impressed upon me that even THAT is pride--it thinks I will finally be seen and appreciated and affirmed!
But you know, heaven is not about me, it's about Christ! It's about HIS affirmation, its about all wrongs committed against HIM being made right. If I am there, it will be only because I have decreased to the point of death and I now live in and through HIM. Every crown, every reward, every affirmation, every confirmation, every accolade of my life as it is reviewed is not mine, it is HIS! All my crowns, all my rewards will be laid at HIS feet in humble recognition that it was HIM in me all along that did anything worthy of reward.

And what about my reward???

My reward is that I will live to see Christ receive HIS reward!
I deserve no reward. I deserve no accolade. I deserve no affirmation, no confirmation, for it is not even my love that compels me to live for God, it is HIS love, placed in me by the Holy Spirit under the direction of Christ. Christ is the source and enduring fuel of any holiness found in me. And to think that I have been connected to and am identified with Christ is a wonder so amazing it is incomprehensible. Christ is all together lovely to me!

"Reign, blessed Jesus, in my heart--reign supreme, and without a rival. I would sincerely love you above all things in heaven or earth. I see that YOU are infinitely glorious in Yourself, and worthy of my highest esteem and love. I would renounce all that the world calls good or great--that I may be entirely Yours! Be my everlasting inheritance, and I shall desire nothing that the whole world can bestow."

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