A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Do You Need To Bathe A Fish?

These are the kinds of questions my kids ask me first thing in the morning after a night of not much sleep. I just want to sit in the truck and be quiet. I don't mind the mindless chatter, unless I am being called into it because then I can't ignore it on the chance I would be accused of being rude!

~What would happen if all your skin peeled at one time?
~How many licks does it take to lick a lollipop all gone?
~Why did God make mosquitos?
~Am I going to die from this--referring to a microscopic spot on a leg, arm, or face which is probably a freckle?

Even midday, when I'm hungry, tired and extremely sweaty and thristy, I don't want to go to McDonalds, order a #4 value meal "WITH A SWEET TEA" and have the order taking, brain injured cashier look at me and ask "would you like that sweetened or unsweetened?" --THREE DAYS RUNNING! HELLO!!! DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

That's my main question lately? Do I speak English? Or does it change to Lithuanian when it goes from my brain to the airwaves? Are my sound waves catching on something and getting skewed on their way out? I say to my kids, pick up that paper and put it in the trash. They say OK and then they just sit there. When I mention it, they say "what paper?" Or I say "bed time" and no one moves. Or I say "supper's ready", and 5 minutes later I hear toilet's flushing, shower's running, and t.v.'s being turned on.

I was really thinking something was wrong with me the other day when I spied an ambulance pulling out of a garage. The word "ambulance" on the front of the vehicle was spelled backwards! For a brief moment, I thought I had developed dyslexia! Or, as my hubby pointed out, maybe the whole world is dyslexic-except for me, but I quickly discarded that theory because I can read all the street signs! Shewww! Anyway the ambulance was in a garage beside a communications place, so I thought maybe someone had boo-booed and they were there to get it fixed! Then my husband informed me that it was for people who acutally look in their rear view mirror--the very few--when they hear a siren.

And speaking of ambulances! The other day my oldest and I were riding in the car and an ambulance was coming! (yes, I did look in my rear view mirror, but it wasn't close enough for me to read "ambulance"). Some idiot pulled out in front of the ambulance, trying to take advantage of everyone being in the right lane--duh, wouldn't you think it a bit strange if every car for several hundred yards all the sudden started to pull into the same lane of a 4 lane highway? Wouldn't you at least glance in your mirror to see if there was something going on? Not this guy! Then when the ambulance got to the intersection, no one tried to pull over, no one moved, they just all sat there and the ambulance had to swerve out around!

Is the whole world brain dead???? Is it the full moon??? Do teens, from some kind of bizarre hormonal occurance forget everything they learned between birth and adolesence? Will I spend the rest of my life saying "I raised them better than that?" Will their questions ever be answered? Do you need to bathe a fish?

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