A Typical or Atypical Pastor's Wife-whichever one you come to believe

Welcome to the barnyard. Watch your step! The things written here are raw and unedited. Just my thoughts thrown on a page as they flow from my heart.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Boobs or a Bob?

I was born into a family who all have hair-----------lots of it! Thick, wavy hair! My Mom died with a full, thick head of hair at age 80. My Dad, who is 78 still has a thick, wavy head of hair. My brother and sister and I all have the thickest heads of hair that most hairdresser's have ever seen. Now some of you are druelling, I know, and wondering what in the world could be so terrible about having thick, wonderful hair. Well, I'll tell you!

My hair looks best short----real short! So for years, I wore it that way. I have a bright personality and short hair just "fit" me, in every way. I'm also 6 ft. tall and, after having 3 babies in three years, a little overweight. So, of course, I, like every other woman I know, would like to look lean, mean, and buff, but yet remain feminine. But considering the facts, that is not the case. Now most people know me as one who doesn't care much about self image. I am who I am and for the most part, I'm fine with it. But lately, I'd say over the last 5 years, I've noticed a trend, and quite frankly, it has thrown me for a loop. In fact, it has at times, left me feeling not much like a female at all. People always think I'm a man!

I'm not one to be worried about looks. I believe life is about who you are inside and what you give of yourself to the world and others. I've never considered myself "pretty" or attractive, I don't wear much makeup, I figure God knew what He was doing when He made me, so I don't need to "fix it" every morning before it's safe to go out in public, but this is something that, when I let it, can bother me a lot.

I thought maybe a wardrobe adjustment might help, although I do have to wear a variety of men's clothing if I want long sleeves. (I only borrow DH underwear when mine are all dirty!)

It first started at Christmas time. I would be out shopping for gifts, get to the cashier, carry on a conversation, and then they would hand me my change and packages and say "thank you sir". At first I just ignored it thinking that they were probably so swamped that they didn't look up, and if they did all they took in was tall with short hair-must be a guy. But over the last two years, this has greatly increased and I find myself saying to them, "I'm not a sir!!!!" and looking in the mirror thinking "do I look like a guy?"

What is it that causes them to mistake me for a man??? It could be my 36 inch inseam. It could be that I still, even after 4 children, wear a traning bra. It most certainly can't be my voice because on the very first day of speech class my speech teacher, in an effort to relieve my terror of public speaking, informed me that my voice was too high for the size of my body, and I weighed 60 lbs. less then than I do now!!!! So what is it????

My friends and husband swear that I look like a girl, unless I have just worked outside for the last 8 hours and I'm sweating like a pig....ooops! pigs don't sweat.......sweating like a horse! Then I just look like a corpse.

So in trying to determine what I could do about this, I weighed many options. I came up with two possible solutions that I was sure would both work. The first, get a boob job, was out of the question right away. I can't afford breast augmentation! Furthermore, whenever I was pregnant and they grew by 4 cup sizes, I couldn't even go through a doorway sideways without bumping them! Plus who wants them hitting you in the face when you jog! I've seen that at the gym and believe me it doesn't look comfortable! And then there is the issue of wardrobe...........I'd have to replace the whole top half! So pretty much, that was out of the question right away, although I was sure that it would make a significant difference AND my hubby could figure out what he has missed all these 25 years of marriage! (He didn't figure it out when I was pregnant because they were so doggone sore, he couldn't even hug me!).

My other option was letting my hair grow longer. I used to sit on my hair when I was a teenager. My hair grows like a weed, so I figured in 12 months it would be down past my shoulders and I could do anything I wanted with it. Well, I was right. It grew like a weed, but even I wondered how many trims it would take until I was out of that inbetween stage. And when it did grow all one length, it was so thick, I couldn't even get a ball cap over top of it! It stuck out in all directions! It defeated the whole purpose of making me look smaller and thinner! Instead I looked more like a linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

I also discovered that I have two cow licks that cause it to grow up my head in the back instead of down my neck--what ever happened to gravity??? But I put up with it for nearly a year. I about went broke trying to wash and rinse it! I spent enough money to retire on buying ponytail holders, headbands, clips, and "girly" hair decorations. I used three times the shampoo and conditioner. Even the water company called and asked if we had a leak, but I just had to tell them "no, I've just been washing my hair." I tried it every way you could think of, layered, all one length, bi-level, thinned, pulled back off my face, with bangs, hanging in my face, over my ears, behind my ears.......you get the picture. I just couldn't get it to look right! But, I did notice that not as many people were calling me "sir"!

Well, I guess I have come full circle because a few weeks ago, I went in and had a haircut and I cut it short! I've had mixed reviews but it sure does feel good AND I feel like myself again! Things are finally pretty much back to normal. How do I know this? Because tonight on the way home my son yelled from the back of van, "Dad,......I mean Mom, can we go to McDonalds for dinner?" Yep! Everything is back to normal!!!!!!!"

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